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floptart:

when ur parents ask you why u havent done any chores
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(via i-peed-so-hard-i-laughed)

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Your metabolisms reaction to treating it right

  • Breakfast: what a great start, thank fuck I don't have to start the day in a panic, now I know I have what I need to not have to hold onto anything that comes my way, and I can start focusing on functioning properly
  • Snack: alright, thanks a lot, I'm glad I trusted you. Another snack came my way and I was able to continue giving you the best possible energy I can deliver
  • Lunch: gee I needed this, I've been working for a while and need to maintain my hard work. Thanks for feeding me, I'll be able to carry on
  • Snack: thank you dear
  • Dinner: hell fucking yeah fish and chips how did you know that's exactly the amount of protein and carbs and fat I needed. Oh? You listened to your cravings? Great! we're really close he always knows what I need
  • Snack: I'm getting tired but I'm going to have to keep working whilst you sleep, so you still need to fuel me. Until the morning old chum!
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live-gonzo:

i would be so happy.

(Source: tinyhousesgalore, via mckeegles)

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3-bae:

frankenfemme:

Talkative/Overly Friendly White woman at the Farmers Market

LOL BYE

Im crying

(via steviefuckingnicks)

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same.

same.

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  • cute barista: alright you're all set, have a good day!
  • me:
  • cute barista:
  • me: so what are we?
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andythenerd:

Two unisex restroom doors, one painted with a unicorn, the other with a unicycle.
Cute as hell.

andythenerd:

Two unisex restroom doors, one painted with a unicorn, the other with a unicycle.

Cute as hell.

(via strawberreli)

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when customers think I give a shit about the football games happening today

Tags: no hell no
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bevsi:

if you have pets, please tell them i love them

(via lenafunham)